Are you alone this Valentine’s Day partly because you are just too afraid of LOVE! I can attest that this is why I am in my hermit mode on LOVE day! A fear of love can express itself in many different ways. You might sit at home on Saturday nights and refuse to let your friends set you up. On the other hand, you might participate on a dozen dating platforms and meet someone for coffee at least three times a week.

While these may sound like two opposite extremes, the outcomes are usually the same. Your defenses keep you from developing an intimate relationship.
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Before you can change, it’s important to be aware of how you sabotage your romantic life. Angela and I spoke about Self-Sabotage and how they are gentle setups by your inner self when you are off track or moving too fast!


Find out what’s keeping you from falling in love.


Altering Your Thoughts:

1. Review your history. Think about your childhood and past relationships. Look for defense mechanisms that you formed in your early years and are ready to drop now. Spot patterns that you want to change.
   
   
   
2. Accept your feelings. A fear of love often involves trying to avoid strong emotions. Remember that running away from sadness also means missing out on joy.
   
   
   
3. Boost your confidence. Learning to live with strong emotions will make you more resilient. Each time you put yourself in situations that make you anxious, you see proof that you can deal with them successfully.
   
   
   
4. Watch your self-talk. Are you sending yourself messages that you’re unlovable? Use your inner voice to build yourself up. Speak to yourself with kindness and compassion.
   
   
   
5. Plan ahead. You’ll feel less anxious if you rehearse the scenarios that make you apprehensive. Practice what you’ll do if someone that you like fails to call you back. You’ll probably realize that the consequences are less serious than you imagine.
   
   
   
6. Appreciate solitude. Being single is different from being afraid to love. You can still enjoy your own company or search for a partner on your own timeline.
   
   
   
7. Consider counseling. Relationship issues can involve some of our deepest needs and fears. Talking with a professional could help you make a breakthrough if you feel stuck.
   
   
   

 Adjusting Your Dating Habits: 

1. Clarify your criteria. Overcoming fear of love requires taking risks, but you can make your odds more favorable. Knowing what you want in a romantic relationship will help you to make rational decisions and choose compatible partners.
   
   
   
2. Open up. Close connections are based on communication. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Move conversations to a deeper level. Talk about your thoughts and feelings.
     
3. Build trust. Maybe you find it difficult to believe in others as well as yourself. Encourage trust by developing relationships based on honesty and mutual respect. Some imbalances are natural, but each half of a couple needs to be willing to give and take.
   
   
   
4. Take a deep breath. Does dating make you so nervous that you start perspiring and babbling? Learning to relax will make things more pleasant for you and your dates. Try meditating daily or listening to soothing music before you leave home.
   
   
   
5. Double date. Study a role model. Have dinner with a couple whose relationship you admire. Observe their interactions and adapt some of their methods to suit your own style.
   
   
   
6. Start small. Meeting someone’s family may still seem overwhelming, but you can practice your new relationship skills in situations where you feel more secure. Talk about your feelings with a close friend or write them down in a journal.
   
   
   
7. Support others. Fears about intimacy are widespread, so you’ll find plenty of opportunities to help yourself by helping others. Focus on trying to help your date feel more relaxed.

Attracting love can make you feel uncomfortable, and you may even get your heartbroken. However, the alternative is missing out on the intimacy and companionship you want and deserve. Remember that you have enough wisdom and strength to develop a healthy romantic relationship.


So take some time today, take a nice spiritual bath and make a commitment to deal with your wounds so you can attract the lover that will give you all that you deserve!

The messages from this week focus on our individual ability to rise above difficult circumstances for the purpose of growth. Everyone knows that certain actions lead to personal achievement. So what stops us from implementing change in our life? 

​I have to admit! The very concepts I ridiculed in the past transformed my life! What does being spiritual really mean anyway, right? I define my spiritual practice as the sum of the thoughts, actions, and habits that I do with the intention of bringing me closer to becoming the person I want to be. Those practices are based on ancient and ancestral systems of living.

I use spirituality as a tool to maintain my body weight, maintain fitness, eliminate phobias, build social skills, find happiness, improve my finances, and several other facets of life.

There’s never been more information available to facilitate change, yet we rarely seem to make meaningful progress toward becoming the wonderful beings we aspire to become. Why is that?
There are many obstacles to implementing spiritual advice, such as:
 

1. You’re not applying the information.  Information you don’t apply is of little value. There are tons of information out there on how to change your life using spiritual strategies. The issue is likely to be one of compliance. Once you have a viable plan, it’s important to stick with it and do what is required by that plan.
2. You believe that learning is the same as doing. Some people believe that understanding is the same as doing. They mistake intellectual understanding as sufficient to solve their challenges. But that’s like saying understanding how to do a push-up is the same as doing 100 push-ups each day. It’s necessary to put your understanding of a strategy into practice.
3. Procrastination. Simply reading about spiritual concepts can be addicting. It’s an inexpensive way to feel like you’re addressing your challenges. We also get a good feeling from reading spiritual articles and books. It’s like we have access to powerful information that the average person doesn’t have. However, it’s necessary to put the books down and get busy at some point. Reading self-help book after self-help book is just a form of procrastination.
4. You’re impatient. It takes time to transform. It also takes time to save money, improve your writing skills, or rid yourself of social anxiety. In general, the longer you’ve been suffering from a particular issue, the longer it will take to move beyond it. Just keep at it, and you will succeed.
5. You’re failing to appreciate how resistant you are to change. Change is much more challenging than most people realize. We have many built-in survival mechanisms that make us resistant to change. You might be miserable, but you’re alive. That’s enough to keep the primitive part of your brain satisfied. Your brain views change as risky. Changing slowly - making small changes, one at a time - may be frustrating, but it has a much better chance of success. Your subconscious is less resistant to small changes. Plus, they’re easier to add to your regular routines. It’s not enough to just intellectually decide a change is necessary. The inertia of sticking with your old patterns is easier than changing.
6. You’re not willing to transform yourself. If you want to be wealthy, it’s not enough to adopt a few habits around saving and investing. It’s necessary to become a person who values and appreciates wealth building. You must believe that becoming wealthy is an endeavor worthy of your time and attention. It’s necessary to change your perspective and beliefs to accommodate the idea of the person you want to be.

Spiritual concepts provide the opportunity to make important changes in your life. They can provide information and inspiration, but the burden is still on you to apply the information to your life and to perform the transformative work on yourself.


Self-Accountability for the purpose of transformation is some of the hardest work you’ll ever do. Be prepared for a bumpy ride. However, if you make small changes, one at a time, your efforts will add up to help make your dreams come true.


So Let’s Look at Accountability and Take Back Your Power
As a child, you may have been told that it’s more honorable to own up to your actions rather than blame others or make excuses. But most of the time, children model behavior more than they listen to instructions. And let’s face it, we are a culture of finger-pointers blaming everything from the weather to the devil for our issues. 
 
Holding ourselves responsible can feel risky. Admitting our faults may threaten our self-image and open us up to criticism from others. It may seem safer to focus on external circumstances instead of looking at our own actions.

The truth is that you could be missing out on more happiness and success by trying to evade responsibility.

Learn more about the importance of developing personal accountability.
 
Benefits of Accountability: 

1. Build confidence. True self-esteem requires having the courage to take an honest look at yourself. Accept your missteps, but put more of a focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
   
   
   
   
2. Make positive changes. Taking responsibility puts you in control of your life. You can learn and grow. You’ll show yourself that you’re capable of adapting to change and handling the consequences of your actions. You can take action to resolve negative circumstances.
   
   
   
   
3. Strengthen your relationships. Earn trust by living up to your commitments. You’ll deepen your connection with family, friends, and coworkers.
   
   
   
   
4. Reduce stress. In the long run, facing the truth usually creates less anxiety than trying to cover it up. Being responsible allows you to enjoy greater peace of mind.

 
Tips for Taking Accountability: 

1. Evaluate your performance. Make it a habit to assess your role in any situation. While external events do matter, focusing on what you can control is more productive.
   
   
   
   
2. Monitor yourself. Pay attention to your behavior even when there are no other witnesses around. Assume equal responsibility for successes and setbacks.
   
   
   
   
3. Set realistic goals. Do you sometimes excuse your conduct because you’re trying to juggle too many activities? Respect your limits and shorten your to-do list. Creating priorities will help you to accomplish more.
   
   
   
   
4. Listen carefully. It’s difficult to hear what others are saying when you’re on the defensive. Listen with an open mind, so you can understand their position even if you disagree.
   
   
   
   
5. Apologize skillfully. Express regret promptly and sincerely when you let someone down. If possible, try to make amends and avoid repeating your slip ups.
   
   
   
   
6. Consider others. If you need another reason to work on accountability, think about your impact on others. Remember how you feel when a business or a loved one harms you and refuses to take responsibility.

 
Tips for Fostering Accountability: 

1. Communicate clearly. Encouraging a more accountable culture makes it easier to assume responsibility. Start by clarifying your expectations and the consequences for not meeting them. Ensure that you understand what others expect of you as well.
   
   
   
   
2. Be forgiving. Help others to be truthful. Respond with mercy rather than anger. You’re bound to need a second chance sometime too.
   
   
   
   
3. Exchange constructive feedback. Talk with others about how to make progress moving forward. Share specific observations, praise, and criticism. Be grateful for any insights they give you.
   
   
   
   
4. Provide a role model. By assuming more accountability, you can automatically have a positive impact on others. You’ll be teaching your children an important life lesson and contributing to a healthier workplace and society.

 
Accountability is a skill that grows stronger with practice. Take charge of your life by assuming responsibility for your actions. You’ll empower yourself to build the future you really want. 

I have a solution to help you practice these strategies! Join The Root Academy! The Root Academy is a 6-weeks system to improving yourself through tried and true psychological strategies and sacred technology.

Divination is more than just laying down cards! It is about understanding what Spirit is telling you using sacred technology. Once you have the what, it is your job to seek out the psychological strategies that help you achieve whatever the card or tool is trying to communicate.

Life is more than just about receiving messages. It is about putting the tactics and behavioral strategies in place so that you can achieve maximum destiny fulfillment! IFA tells us that we struggle to receive the blessings of ORI when we maintain unhealthy behaviors and attachments! Today our holy crew wants us to work on BALANCE!

Today's message comes from Oshun and Ogun. This week IFA spoke of the Odu Ose-Ogunda, the two Odus that house these Orishas. So I was NOT at all surprised when the couple card was cast! These are the two orishas that epitomize Adam and Eve, yin and yang, force and passivity, and divine femininity and divine masculinity.

These powers must be understood because relationship polarity is the most important key to survival on this planet and survival in our lives. Maintaining inner relationship polarity must be achieved before outer balance will be experienced. A balance must be maintained between the sensory and the extrasensory, between the physical material world and the ethereal spirit world.

Balanced relationship polarity is expressed through your mind (your inner divine masculine) and heart (your inner divine feminine) coherence. True happiness occurs when these two containers work together on the inside. As long as we depreciate the outer expressions of these two energies, it will be difficult to balance them within. Below are 7 ways that your life will suffer if you continue to live out of balance.

​A life that’s out of balance includes some degree of suffering: 

1. Financially. When your life is out of whack, you can spend too much money. If you’re working hard day after day, it’s common to think that you deserve to enjoy your life, so you whip out your wallet. Unfortunately, it’s easy to outspend your income. The pleasure you get from spending money also doesn’t last for long. On the other end of the spectrum, if you’re not paying enough attention to work, your income is likely lower than it could be. Being out of balance may also cause you to put things off. Putting too much or too little attention on work can have negative financial implications.
   
2. Health. If your life is out of balance, you’re likely to exercise too little, eat poorly, and suffer from excessive amounts of stress. You can also suffer from insomnia. Your health is one of the first things to go downhill when your life is unbalanced. 
   
3. Your relationship with your friends and family can suffer. One of the other casualties of an out-of-balance lifestyle is your relationship with other people. Whether it’s your spouse, partner, children, friends, or other family members, your relationships can suffer. Consider the consequences of damaging your relationship with your spouse and children. Are the other things you’re spending time on worth it? 
   
4. You don’t have time for the things you enjoy. Do you love to watch football? Go out with the ladies for dinner on Thursdays? Whittle totem poles in the garage? An out-of-balance life lacks the time necessary to enjoy your hobbies and other enjoyable activities.
   
5. Your mood suffers. Are you cranky, intolerant, angry, or feeling hopeless? Your life might be out of balance. People with an out-of-balance life often resent the time that people and unrelated activities require. It’s not easy to feel good when your life is out of whack. A consistent bad mood is a terrible burden to carry for you and everyone around you. Everyone suffers when a family member is miserable.
   
6. You lose the ability to focus. A lack of sleep, a horrible diet, no exercise, and no social life can tear down your ability to focus your attention productively. As your mind and body wear down, you can’t stay on task as well. You’re also spending too much brainpower focused on other things. If you’re eating dinner with your family but lost in your thoughts, you’re not focusing on sharing a meal with your family. 
   
7. You either won’t take or can’t enjoy a vacation. If you can’t, or won’t, make time for a vacation, your life is out of balance. This can be a great test to determine if your life is under control. Do you think your life is unbalanced? Plan a vacation and see what happens!

 
Is your life out of balance? What changes can you make in order to bring it back into balance? It can be a real challenge to maintain balance in your life, but the consequences of failing to be balanced can be severe.
 
Remember how important your health, relationships, and happiness are to you. Where would you be without them?
 
Take action today to bring your life back into balance! You’ll be so glad you did!

The Root Academy is a 6-week program that can help you reprogram your subconscious to transcend limiting beliefs and create a sense of happiness, empowerment, and purpose!